American Products Worth Schlepping Back

This adorable intern at work crept up to my desk this week, and looking terribly scared, asked me for a favor in a hushed voice.

Given how scared and sweet she looked, I was preparing myself for something major (maybe mentorship or my yummy purple pen), but really, she just said, "Do you think you could bring me back some Strawberry Fluff from The States next week?"

"Sure."

Of all of the things she wanted from the Land of Plenty, Strawberry Fluff was it. I tried to tell her that of all of the American products worth hauling back, Strawberry Fluff was at the bottom of the pile. I don't know anyone who has ever actually stocked that stuff in their house, or even their dorm room. Doesn't she know there's so much more when it comes to American innovation?

Here, the domestic American products I'm missing most.

1. Crest Whitestrips Advanced Seal - Crest's top-of-the-line, mess-free teeth whitening strips are so noncommittal. You press them on your teeth like stickers, and leave them there for 30 minutes. You can even drink water. Expect Taylor Lautner-like choppers in 14 days flat. Dentists must be soooo pissed about this.

2. Mr. Clean Magic Erasers - These all-purpose cleaning sponges de-skeeved both of my New York apartments. You just dampen your Magic Eraser with water and run it over any surface that's making your skin crawl, be it a hardwood floor, greasy stove, white wall or bathtub. (Even your roommate!) Honestly, it's a miracle product. There's no bubbles or smell or spills or anything. I love you, Mr. Clean!

3. tasti-D-lite or Only 8 - If I could clone myself or get the capital, I'd open up a tasti-D-lite franchise right here in London. Or at least an Only 8 concession somewhere. There are days where only a soft-serve, low-calorie frozen dessert will make it better, and my only option was Yog, this vile, sour frozen yogurt that I wouldn't feed my imaginary dog. (I went there once, spent about £4 on a cup and immediately tossed it after the first spoonful. Nasty!) Seriously, I don't think London waist-watching girls know what they're missing. A small cup Fluffernutter and German Chocolate Cake Twist tasti-D with sprinkles on top for $3 and under 200 cals on a warm summer night? Yes, please!

Note: I realize Tasti-d and Only 8 are not so much products are they are foods, but since, like Strawberry Fluff, they're made with so many mystery ingredients, I think they probably are best classified as products. (I'll definitely be doing an American food-related post soon, so stay tuned for that.)

4. Us Weekly - Few things are sadly entertaining as scanning Us Weekly's "Stars! They're Just Like Us!" opening double-page spreads. Isla Fischer pushes her baby on a swing? Gripping! Katherine Heigl eats a French fry? Fascinating!

5. Slatkin & Co. Scent Port home fragrance diffusers - If there were a God of Home Fragrance, it'd be Harry Slatkin. Harry is responsible for some of the world's most sought-after and snobby home fragrances, churning out luxe, powerful, heavenly-scented candles that were picked up by Bergdorf Goodman, Barneys and Neiman Marcus. He even did those cool Elton John scented rocks.

Well a few years ago, he started doing home scents for Bath & Body Works, a markedly more affordable retailer, and amazingly, the Slatkin & Co. scents for BBW smell almost as fantastic as his more precious stuff. I love these Scent Ports, because they scent a room super-powerfully for over a month, but without giving off that disgusting, cloying artificial smell that other plug-in devices are famous for. You can even get a Scent Port with a night light built in!