How to Pull Off Glittery Makeup

Last night I went for drinks with one of my former editors, the very talented A.

A. met me inside the candlelit Charlotte Street Hotel bar wearing a gorgeous tartan dress and even more gorgeous sparkly golden eyeliner. It was très festive, but completely casual. (The snow falling outside the hotel’s big paned windows made the whole scene just so Christmas-y.)

Back to the glitter eyeliner — I was so glad to see it. I’ve been championing glitter since I was a wee one, and as I grow older, I’m continually dismayed to see so many of my contemporaries throw the sparkly stuff by the wayside. Some of them I genuinely think feel glittery makeup is no longer age-appropriate. (BOR-ing!) Others I suspect fear they won’t be able to pull it off. Sad, because just looking at something sparkly puts me in a better mood. (Honk if you feel the same.)

I think the secret to making glittery makeup look covetable (and not insane) is really about the other products you wear it with. Whether it’s glittery lipstick, eye makeup, blush or nail polish you’re contemplating, balance it out by keeping the rest of your makeup super-casual. Why, take my friend A. for example.

Last night A. revealed the contents of her makeup bag to me — an exercise that tells you more about a person than a Proust Questionnaire — and she showed off a pretty neutral selection of au natural, fresh-looking stuff (The Balm Stainiac, MAC Lip Erase, etc.), complemented by the addition of the fabulous golden Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Eyeliner in (what I think was) Midnight Cowboy.

To get that pretty, ethereal look, A. had clearly used all of those nice neutrals, and then adorned her fresh-faced look by tracing the Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Eyeliner along her top lash line. When you saw her, you noticed her pretty skin, smile and eyes, which were lit up by bright, shining, gossamer-like thread of teeny-tiny sparkles. She looked amazing, and she completely illustrated how glitter can be bold without being overwhelming.

American Products Worth Schlepping Back

This adorable intern at work crept up to my desk this week, and looking terribly scared, asked me for a favor in a hushed voice.

Given how scared and sweet she looked, I was preparing myself for something major (maybe mentorship or my yummy purple pen), but really, she just said, "Do you think you could bring me back some Strawberry Fluff from The States next week?"

"Sure."

Of all of the things she wanted from the Land of Plenty, Strawberry Fluff was it. I tried to tell her that of all of the American products worth hauling back, Strawberry Fluff was at the bottom of the pile. I don't know anyone who has ever actually stocked that stuff in their house, or even their dorm room. Doesn't she know there's so much more when it comes to American innovation?

Here, the domestic American products I'm missing most.

1. Crest Whitestrips Advanced Seal - Crest's top-of-the-line, mess-free teeth whitening strips are so noncommittal. You press them on your teeth like stickers, and leave them there for 30 minutes. You can even drink water. Expect Taylor Lautner-like choppers in 14 days flat. Dentists must be soooo pissed about this.

2. Mr. Clean Magic Erasers - These all-purpose cleaning sponges de-skeeved both of my New York apartments. You just dampen your Magic Eraser with water and run it over any surface that's making your skin crawl, be it a hardwood floor, greasy stove, white wall or bathtub. (Even your roommate!) Honestly, it's a miracle product. There's no bubbles or smell or spills or anything. I love you, Mr. Clean!

3. tasti-D-lite or Only 8 - If I could clone myself or get the capital, I'd open up a tasti-D-lite franchise right here in London. Or at least an Only 8 concession somewhere. There are days where only a soft-serve, low-calorie frozen dessert will make it better, and my only option was Yog, this vile, sour frozen yogurt that I wouldn't feed my imaginary dog. (I went there once, spent about £4 on a cup and immediately tossed it after the first spoonful. Nasty!) Seriously, I don't think London waist-watching girls know what they're missing. A small cup Fluffernutter and German Chocolate Cake Twist tasti-D with sprinkles on top for $3 and under 200 cals on a warm summer night? Yes, please!

Note: I realize Tasti-d and Only 8 are not so much products are they are foods, but since, like Strawberry Fluff, they're made with so many mystery ingredients, I think they probably are best classified as products. (I'll definitely be doing an American food-related post soon, so stay tuned for that.)

4. Us Weekly - Few things are sadly entertaining as scanning Us Weekly's "Stars! They're Just Like Us!" opening double-page spreads. Isla Fischer pushes her baby on a swing? Gripping! Katherine Heigl eats a French fry? Fascinating!

5. Slatkin & Co. Scent Port home fragrance diffusers - If there were a God of Home Fragrance, it'd be Harry Slatkin. Harry is responsible for some of the world's most sought-after and snobby home fragrances, churning out luxe, powerful, heavenly-scented candles that were picked up by Bergdorf Goodman, Barneys and Neiman Marcus. He even did those cool Elton John scented rocks.

Well a few years ago, he started doing home scents for Bath & Body Works, a markedly more affordable retailer, and amazingly, the Slatkin & Co. scents for BBW smell almost as fantastic as his more precious stuff. I love these Scent Ports, because they scent a room super-powerfully for over a month, but without giving off that disgusting, cloying artificial smell that other plug-in devices are famous for. You can even get a Scent Port with a night light built in!

Faux Tan Disaster!

So, yeeeah. Ever since I've developed this rosacea-of-the-upper-arms thing (I grew into this charming feature about a year ago), I have been trying to devise ways to conceal it. I thought fake tanning was the answer.

Clearly not, at least the way I went about it this week, in anticipation of my company holiday party, where I would be working a sleeveless silky black Banana number. I grabbed a tube of a since-discontinued Clinique Self-Sun product, which has been sitting in my cabinet for a cool 18 months now, and I have been slathering it on my arms daily for the past three days. (Mind you, it does say that it's best used within six months of purchase, and I have been storing it in a hot, steamy bathroom since 2008.)

Under the inconsistent light of my apartment, my arms looked great in one room, and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish-orange in another. I ignored the whole Pepperidge Farm thing and went on with my bad self.

I go to work in a cap-sleeve dress today, thinking that no one will know about my rosacea-arm-situation, and BAM! -- the founder of our company (who I totally love and respect) comes up to me and says "You're orange."

Um...embarrassing. Especially since I get paid to know what's up in the luxe beauty world.

Now this woman who called me out is deadpan, direct and kind of hysterical, and she completely confirmed my suspicions, suspicions my ego - and God bless 'em, my co-workers - so kindly chose to ignore. Seriously, I did look a little Oompa Loompa-ish.

This, on top of my professionally applied £60 faux tan disaster this summer (where I had brown, muddy-looking feet for my buddy's breezy Maine wedding), I'm beginning to think I should make peace with fiery, angry upper arms.

My last-ditch effort: MAC Face and Body Foundation. Or more likely, sleeves.

How to Disappear Completely: Take a Detoxifying Bath

I'm not really a bath person.

The whole stewing-in-your-own-filth thing and having to clean the tub beforehand puts me off. Also, since I don't have one of those fabulous half-a-dinosaur-egg tubs like they have in Soho House, my narrow bathtub kinda makes me feel huge.

But the other day I gave in, simply because my muscles were so sore, that I shed a little tear every time I sat down to pee. This pain, of course, was a result of me randomly acting like I was Jackie Warner at the gym, after a good month of being a total sloth. Seriously, I was practically playing hacky-sack with a 5 kg medicine ball.

So there I am, drawing my bath. I even light a candle for mood. Surveying the few rarely-used bath oils I have, I go for the Elemental Herbology Detoxifying Bath Infusion, given to me as a birthday gift. It smells really herb-y, in a nice way.

The label says to put two to three capfuls. I pour half the bottle. Oops. After soaking for about 20 minutes, I get up, and I feel absolutely blissful, in a way that I've never really experience from a bath oil. (Calgon, this isn't.)

I don't know if it was the hot hot water or the botanical actives doing their thing, but I seriously felt like I'd shifted into another state. I was so relaxed and completely incapable of carrying on a conversation. I floated to bed.