How to Disappear Completely: Take a Detoxifying Bath

I'm not really a bath person.

The whole stewing-in-your-own-filth thing and having to clean the tub beforehand puts me off. Also, since I don't have one of those fabulous half-a-dinosaur-egg tubs like they have in Soho House, my narrow bathtub kinda makes me feel huge.

But the other day I gave in, simply because my muscles were so sore, that I shed a little tear every time I sat down to pee. This pain, of course, was a result of me randomly acting like I was Jackie Warner at the gym, after a good month of being a total sloth. Seriously, I was practically playing hacky-sack with a 5 kg medicine ball.

So there I am, drawing my bath. I even light a candle for mood. Surveying the few rarely-used bath oils I have, I go for the Elemental Herbology Detoxifying Bath Infusion, given to me as a birthday gift. It smells really herb-y, in a nice way.

The label says to put two to three capfuls. I pour half the bottle. Oops. After soaking for about 20 minutes, I get up, and I feel absolutely blissful, in a way that I've never really experience from a bath oil. (Calgon, this isn't.)

I don't know if it was the hot hot water or the botanical actives doing their thing, but I seriously felt like I'd shifted into another state. I was so relaxed and completely incapable of carrying on a conversation. I floated to bed.